What It's All About?

Tomorrow is my 10 year anniversary and I've often wondered what is life all about? Not the meaning of life per say but life should be what you make it right? What about when things and obstacles get in the way of those dreams and ambitions you have set for yourself? Can you still keep your eye on the prize?

From the time I was a teenager (and this is because I don't remember much of my life prior to that) I've been very head strong. I always do what I want to do and typically don't let anyone or anything stand in my way. I will find a way to get something done when I want it badly enough. Here's a little background history on myself so you will know a little more about me....

When I was 15 years old I was dating a guy who I thought was ok but I was wrong. About an hour before my softball tryouts he raped me. It took me a very long time to tell anyone and by the time I did, they couldn't find him. I was a teenager who hated high school because I was overweight, not just overweight, but fat. I got picked on a lot. However, I did have a boyfriend from 16 to about 17 1/2. Again someone else I thought was a winner who turned out to be a loser! He beat me frequently, put me down and was just mean. He convinced me to leave home for 9 days and during that time he and his brother tattooed my arms with a sewing needle and ballpoint pin ink and thread. It was the most painful thing I think I've ever been through and as you know I've had three children. They put two things on one arm and one on the other. It wasn't long after that I went home and then left school. There was too much going on. I got my GED and walked the same year my regular graduating class did even though I finished long before they did.

I had already met my soon to be husband and we got married when I was 19. Exactly 10 months later my first son was born. Not long after having him they discovered that I had Endometriosis and would have to take Lupron which nearly killed me. It left me confined to my bed for months. I was determined to have more children but was told it would be nearly impossible. I decided to lose weight and lost about 115 lbs. I met every stubborn doctor along the way too. I finally went back and begged to have more children and was given one try. As most people know.... I had twins! But that wasn't going to be easy either. They were born at 35 weeks because my liver failed and platelet count dropped. Then the babies were in the NICU.

Thomas was in for 22 days and his sister was in for 15 days. When they were about 5 months old I had to have a partial hysterectomy. I should also mention that from 1999 until the present day I've had 10 surgeries. They are all for various things and various reasons and various parts of me. After getting everyone settled I continued on with something I had already started, my Bachelors Degree. I was doing this online! I had started just after I got sick from the Lupron in 2004 and I finished in 2007. I got a BS in Criminal Justice. I desperately wanted to go and walk across the stage, but that wasn't going to happen either....

There are so many other things that have happened in my life and I could keep going on. I guess my point is that life can always be worse and it's all about what you make of it. If you make it bad then chances are it will always be bad. If you keep a positive outlook and remember that sometimes you aren't in charge then good things will happen. I firmly believe that God has a plan for everything and one day I will be there with him and he will let me in on the secret, until then..... Life is good!