Just so frustrated

Today is not a good day! It started out ok and I was just nervous that this is the week I go to Duke, but then it all went downhill. First I had to go through my twins closest so that I can make room for their new clothes. That turned out to be an adventure. Then I had to call the guy to come look at the washing machine because last night it wasn't washing it was just making this humming noise.

So the guy gets here and tells us that the motor is hot and it's leaking oil and the knob is loose and the timer is off. Oh my gosh can it get any worse because we just bought a refrigerator. I'm thinking we should have not bought that and gotten the washer and dryer instead. He said the dryer would probably only last another 6 months maybe because the knob on that is loose too. So he leaves and I am just in tears because I can't fathom how we will pay for this. I have no job (stay at home mom), not a lot of cash, we don't have credit cards, getting ready to have medical bills, etc.

Then my mother is here and of course I'm on edge. I'm on edge thinking about Duke, I'm looking at my dirty house that needs to be cleaned and wondering how I can do all that and the clothes that now need to be washed and no washer and almost no dryer and screaming kids and an 8 year old that suddenly got an attitude when asked to do something. So I'm throwing toys in the playroom and a ball hits her (a soft one!!) and she wants to know why I hit her..... I didn't mean to and I tell everyone to just get out and for her to go home and then I throw my daughter's camera in there too and she (my mom) has a fit. The camera is the Little Tykes camera and was made so that if it is thrown, dropped or whatever then it will basically not break, ever! My daughter has probably thrown that thing a million times already and it still works. But of course lets blame me for everything..... my house is just falling apart, my body is falling apart, it seems we can't get things together here. I'm not even sure if I applied for a job that anyone would ever hire me.... Hmmmmmm.

So now I'm wondering what the rest of the week would even be like. Makes me wonder what Wednesday will be like. Now that is scary!