Someone told me the other day that I hadn't blogged in a while which was true. While I've had plenty to write about, that seemed to be the problem...there was too much going on. I've had some time now and things are settling back down (believe it or not) and I can gather some thoughts together. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, fear, patience, waiting and so many other things for 5 weeks straight. For 5 weeks I went with a lump in my breast that I was told could have been as simple as a cyst but possibly cancer and it was not known what it was. My mammogram showed a second spot as well and it was determined that the first spot would be removed because it was "questionable" and the second spot would be "watched". For 5 weeks I had to talk to my husband about the possibility of what was happening when either of us could talk about it, what we were going to tell our children, what we were going to tell our oldest about the surgery, etc.
The day of the surgery came and I'm still holding out Faith that she will remove it and tell us that everything is simply fine. She comes out and tells my husband that ....I've never seen anything like that before and I don't know what it is, I'll send it for pathology. So it's at this point that we begin to wonder if something could be wrong, maybe it wasn't a simple cyst after all. For 5 days we worried, I cried, I didn't sleep and I waited and waited and waited. Finally getting a phone call that in fact it was not cancer but Necrosis which can mimic a malignant tumor. Nothing else needed to be done except to heal from where she did the surgery and watch the other spot.
Those were almost the scariest 5 days of my entire life, next to nearly losing my twins. I can't explain the feeling of someone telling you they don't know. The worst part about that was that while my husband and I were trying to deal with this and I am healing we had a couple of visitors, one friend brought dinner but none of our friends called us. We heard from our family, my preacher went to the hospital and so did a good friend. It really made the two of us wonder.....
Maybe it's me, or my husband or our children. Maybe we don't do enough for other people or our friends, maybe we have expected too much, not given enough of our time. I'm not sure the reason.
I have to end this by saying that I am thankful to the people we did hear from and to our scouting families who spoke to Mike. It was so thoughtful even for those who didn't know us well to ask him how we were doing. We appreciated that more than they know. To quote two things I read on Facebook today: "Friendship is showing love" and "be thankful for what we have" That sums up a lot in a small amount of words.
